To the Chinese, eating is a way to socialise and friendships are made at the dinner table. Restaurants are noisy, crowded places where people get together with family and friends to unwind and enjoy themselves. Eating is a time of relaxation, away from the pressures of work and school. While friends in the West go out for a beer, the Chinese will opt for a 'hot and noisy' meal punctuated with increasingly vociferous shots of rice wine.

Typically, the Chinese sit at a round table and order dishes from which everyone partakes; ordering a dish just for yourself would be unthinkable. it's not unusual for one person at the table to order on everyone's behalf. Usually among friends only several dishes will be ordered but if guests are present, the host will order at least one dish per person, possibly more. At formal dinners, be prepared for a staggering amount of food, far more than anyone could eat.

Epicureans will tell you that the key to ordering is to get a balance of tex- tures, tastes, smells, colours and even temperatures. Most Chinese meals start with some snacks, perhaps some peanuts or pickles. Following the little tidbits are the main courses, usually some meat and vegetable dishes. Soup is often served at the end of the meal as well as noodles or rice.

Traditionally, the Chinese had a number of taboos regarding table etiquette. Nowadays, these rules are much more relaxed and foreigners are given special allowances for social gaffes. However, there are  some basic rules to follow when eating with Chinese friends or colleagues that will make things at the table go more smoothly.

Everyone gets an individual bowl and a small plate and tea cup. It's quite acceptable to hold the bowl close to your lips and shovel the contents into your mouth with chopsticks. If the food contains bones or seeds, just put them out on the tablecloth or in a dish reserved for this purpose. Restaurants are prepared for the mess and staff change the tablecloth after each customer leaves.

Chopstick skills are a necessary means of survival when eating out  in China. Don't despair if at first much of the food lands on the table or in your lap and not in your bowl. Eating this way takes practice and most Chinese are understanding when it comes to foreigners and chopstick problems.

When eating from communal dishes, don't use your chopsticks to root around in a dish for a piece of food. Find a piece by sight and go directly for it without touching anything else. And remember that while dropping food is OK, never drop your chopsticks as this is considered bad luck.

Most Chinese think little of sticking their own chopsticks into a communal dish, though this attitude is changing because of SARS. Many higher- end restaurants now provide separate serving spoons or chopsticks to be used with communal dishes. If these are provided, make sure to use them. Never use a personal spoon to serve from a communal plate or bowl.

Don't be surprised if your Chinese host uses their chopsticks to place food in your bowl or plate. This is a sign of friendship and the polite thing to do is to smile and eat whatever has been given you. If for some reason you can't eat it, leave it in your bowl or hide it with rice.

Remember to fill your neighbours' tea cups when they are empty, as yours will be filled by them. You can thank the pourer by tapping two fingers on the table gently. On no account serve yourself tea without serving others first. When your teapot needs a refill, signal this to the waiter by taking the lid off the pot.

Probably the most important piece of etiquette comes with the bill: the person who extended the dinner invitation is presumed to pay, though everyone at the table will put up a fight. Don't argue too hard; it's expected that at a certain point in the future the meal will be reciprocated.